I Fixed Everything

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4 views · Added 12d ago · 5 definitions

I made everything work even though I probably broke something else.

I fixed your Wi-Fi, but now your cat’s stuck in the dishwasher.

I fixed your math test, but now your mom’s stuck in a blender.

I fixed your dad’s truck, but now his pants are on fire.

I took care of everything, even if I did it with my bare hands and a curse.

I fixed your broken phone with a swear word and a paperclip.

I fixed your math homework with a magic pencil and a dirty sock.

I fixed your dad’s sandwich with a hammer and a bag of chips.

I handled everything, even if it came with a side of pain and a bad attitude.

I fixed your broken bike, and now my fingers are numb and angry.

I fixed your broken heart with a hot dog and a punch to the face.

I fixed your broken laptop with a swear word and a coffee spill.

I took everything apart to make it better, and I probably made a mess.

I fixed your broken toaster by disassembling it and eating the parts.

I fixed your math problem by tearing up the textbook and screaming.

I fixed your dad’s car by throwing a banana at it and hoping for the best.

I fixed everything so you wouldn’t have to deal with it, even if I had to use my hands and my brain.

I fixed your broken phone so you wouldn’t have to look at it anymore.

I fixed your math test so you wouldn’t have to cry.

I fixed your dad’s truck so he wouldn’t yell at me.