I drink, therefore I am

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The only reason I still have a brain is because I keep chugging beer like it's my job.

I drink, therefore I am. The rest of you can rot in hell.

My liver is my best friend and my enemy. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't need a doctor. I have a bottle. I drink, therefore I am.

If I don't drink, I might as well be dead. I'm not living. I'm just waiting for the next drink.

I'm not a human being. I'm a walking bar. I drink, therefore I am.

My life is a never-ending party. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't need a life plan. I need a keg. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't think. I just pour. I drink, therefore I am. That's all I need to know.

I don't have a brain. I have a bottle. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't make decisions. I just drink. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't need a reason to drink. I need a reason to live. I drink, therefore I am.

I'm not alive. I'm just waiting for the next drink to hit me. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't have a soul. I have a hangover. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't need a heart. I need a bar. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't have dreams. I have a bottle. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't live. I survive through alcohol. I drink, therefore I am. That's all I need.

I don't need a family. I need a bottle. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't have goals. I have a bar. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't need a purpose. I need a drink. I drink, therefore I am.

I'm not a person. I'm a walking bar. I drink, therefore I am. That's my whole life.

I don't think. I just drink. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't need love. I need a drink. I drink, therefore I am.

I don't have a brain. I have a bottle. I drink, therefore I am.