i don't want to go to school today i want to stay home and bake cookies with you

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4 views · Added 2d ago · 6 definitions

A man who thinks he's cool but is just sad because his ex got a better life and now he's stuck with a new girlfriend who doesn't know what a cookie is.

My ex got a job at the bakery and now she makes cookies for a living. I just got a job at the gas station. I'm not even sad. I'm furious.

He texted me 'I'm coming over' and then showed up with a bag of chips. I threw them at him.

He said he'd take me to the movies, but I just got a coupon for a free cookie. I'm not going anywhere.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A guy who dates girls who are total disasters and then gets dumped by them because he's too dumb to realize they're bad for him.

He dated a girl who only liked him when she was high. Now he's dating a girl who only likes him when she's getting a tattoo.

He broke up with his ex because she kept making bad decisions. Now he's with someone who makes worse ones.

He texted me 'I'm dating someone new' and then showed up with a bag of cookies. I told him to eat the whole bag and leave.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A man who's too lazy to do anything and just wants to sit on the couch and eat cookies while his new girlfriend tries to fix his life.

He showed up to my house with a bag of cookies and said 'I just want to sit here and eat these.' I told him to get a job.

He dated a girl who had a job and now he's with one who doesn't. He's happy.

He texted me 'I'm coming over' and then brought a bag of cookies. I told him to eat them all and leave.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A man who's stuck with a new girlfriend who doesn't know the difference between a cookie and a muffin and still thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread.

He dated a girl who didn't know what a cookie was. Now he's dating a girl who thinks a muffin is a cookie. He still thinks he's cool.

He said he'd take me to the movies, but I just got a coupon for a free cookie. He showed up with a muffin. I threw it at him.

He texted me 'I'm coming over' and brought a muffin. I told him to eat the whole thing and go home.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A guy who's too dumb to realize his new girlfriend is even worse than his old one, but still thinks he's the king of the world.

He dated a girl who was a disaster. Now he's with one who's a total mess. He still thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread.

He texted me 'I'm coming over' and then showed up with a bag of cookies. I told him to eat the whole bag and leave.

He said he'd take me to the movies, but I just got a coupon for a free cookie. He showed up with a bag of muffins. I threw them at him.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A man who's so lazy he thinks eating cookies at home is the same as going out and living life.

He showed up at my house with a bag of cookies and said 'I don't want to go out. I just want to sit here and eat these.' I told him to go home and eat them all.

He dated a girl who had a job. Now he's with one who doesn't. He still thinks he's cool.

He texted me 'I'm coming over' and brought a bag of cookies. I told him to eat them all and leave.

by Slangipedia 2d ago