I demand my Leprechauns with Jam

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Your brain is on fire and you’re seeing stuff that doesn’t exist, like a raccoon wearing a crown and doing math.

I saw my math teacher turn into a dancing potato. That’s surrealism, baby.

My mom said the sky was pink at midnight. I said, 'That’s not real, that’s your bad mood.'

I tried to eat a cloud for breakfast. It tasted like regret.

Your head is full of nonsense and you’re pretending it’s normal, like your neighbor’s dog has a PhD and talks in riddles.

My dog told me the universe is made of spaghetti. I believed him. That’s surrealism.

I saw my brother cry at a pizza. It was beautiful and confusing.

My sister said the moon was a giant cheese wheel. I took it seriously.

You’re so lost in your own weirdness you think everyone else is insane, like you’re the only one who knows the secret language of tacos.

I told my friend the sun was a giant taco. He laughed. I said, 'You’re just not ready for the truth.'

My teacher said 2 + 2 = 5. I said, 'That’s not math, that’s magic.'

I tried to explain dreams to my dad. He said, 'You’re nuts.' I said, 'You’re just not dreaming.'