I beat my kids

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When a parent hits their kid so hard they might cry, laugh, or just wish they were somewhere else.

My dad kicked me out of the house because I wouldn't stop talking during church.

Mom threw a plate at my head for saying she looked like a raccoon.

Dad punched me in the gut because I ate his lunch.

When a kid gets smacked so much they might start a new hobby like counting bruises.

I got 12 whacks for not doing my homework. Now I know how many sides a die has.

My brother got spanked because he told my mom her hair looked like a raccoon.

I got hit with a broom because I said the word 'poop' in class.

When a kid gets hit so much they might think the parent is just really into wrestling.

I got thrown down the stairs because I said my dad's pants were sagging.

My sister got smacked for telling my mom she looked like a cat that lost a fight.

I got hit with a spoon because I didn't clean my room.

When a kid gets beaten so much they might start a side business selling bandages.

I got hit with a belt because I told my dad he smelled like a garbage can.

My brother got kicked for saying my mom looked like a raccoon.

I got spanked for eating my sister's homework.

When a kid gets beaten so much they might think the parent is just really into boxing.

I got hit with a book because I said my dad looked like a hot dog.

My sister got smacked for telling my mom she looked like a raccoon.

I got thrown out of the house because I wouldn't stop talking.

When a parent hits their kid so much they might think they're training for the Olympics.

I got hit with a mop because I said my dad's hair looked like a dandelion.

My brother got kicked for telling my mom she looked like a raccoon.

I got spanked for eating my sister's math test.