I ate doorknob

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When you messed up bad but still tried to act like you were winning while cussing yourself out like a madman

I ate doorknob because I failed my test and I screamed at my pencil

I ate doorknob when I spilled my cereal on my shirt and said it was a fashion statement

I ate doorknob after I tripped over my dog and told it I was fine

When you tried to be cool but failed so hard it felt like your face was on fire

I ate doorknob when I tried to impress my crush and tripped into a puddle

I ate doorknob because I forgot my homework and blamed my cat

I ate doorknob when I tried to play the guitar and it sounded like a goat in a blender

When you thought you were doing great but then you realized you were just being a loud, stupid mess

I ate doorknob after I yelled at my mom for no reason

I ate doorknob when I thought I was the best at math but got every question wrong

I ate doorknob because I wore socks with sandals and said it was a new trend

When you tried to be happy but ended up being a giant grump with no friends

I ate doorknob because I got a C on my report card and threw my sandwich at the wall

I ate doorknob when I tried to be popular and no one talked to me

I ate doorknob after I lost my phone and cried in the hallway

When you thought you were the king of the world but then you fell off the throne and landed in a pile of spaghetti

I ate doorknob when I thought I was going to be rich but I got a job at a burger place

I ate doorknob after I got a pet turtle and it stared at me like I was a weirdo

I ate doorknob because I tried to be a superhero and got kicked out of the playground

When you tried to be awesome but then your awesome turned into a giant mess that nobody wanted

I ate doorknob when I tried to paint my room and turned it into a rainbow explosion

I ate doorknob because I tried to be the best at soccer and missed every goal

I ate doorknob after I wore my pajamas to school and my teacher said I was a disgrace