i am confussion

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When the weird russian lady thinks you're a big man then finds out you're a shrimp

I thought you were a Russian gangster, but you're just a guy with a tiny dong.

She asked if I was in the mafia, then laughed when I showed her my tiny flake.

The lady said I looked like a mob boss, then facepalmed when I took my pants off.

When the weird russian lady thinks you're tough, but you're just a guy who cried in a movie

She said I was a tough guy, then I cried at the ending of Titanic.

I told her I was a warrior, then I sniffled at the dog in the movie.

She asked if I was a soldier, then I sobbed at the sad baby in the movie.

When the weird russian lady thinks you're a legend, but you're just a guy who got kicked out of a bar

She said I was a legend, then I got kicked out of a bar for talking too loud.

I told her I was a hero, then I got thrown out for arguing with the bartender.

She said I was a king, then I got tossed out for throwing a punch.