I am awesome

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I am so awesome I make your brain explode and your mom cry.

I came. I saw. I destroyed your whole life.

You’re like a weak noodle. I’m the fork.

I’m awesome. You’re just a footnote in my story.

I am awesome. You are a sad bag of chips that got left in the microwave.

You’re like a broken toaster. I’m the bread.

I’m awesome. You’re just background noise.

You’re the reason the moon has craters.

I am so awesome, I could beat up your dad and still have energy to laugh.

You’re like a lost sock. I’m the laundry.

I’m awesome. You’re just a typo in my life.

Your dad would cry if he saw me.