I am amazing (02/11/2025).

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What I call humans who can't get enough of butt infections and scream about it in the middle of the night.

I'm amazing because I can sit through 3 hours of pain and still text my mom.

My butt is on fire and I'm still posting selfies.

I just passed gas and it was louder than my ex's lies.

What I call humans who think anal boils are the most important thing since pizza.

I had a perianal abscess so big it could hold a burger.

I told my doctor I'd rather die than let my butt be touched again.

I'm amazing because I can laugh through the pain and still roast my friends.

What I call humans who are so addicted to butt pain they write poems about it.

My perianal abscess is my muse now.

I wrote a haiku about my butt infection and posted it on TikTok.

I'm amazing because I can cry and laugh at the same time while my butt is on fire.