1
The guy who runs home like a star, but also has a weird website with a stupid logo.
I swear, that website is the reason I failed math.
Why does he run home like it's a race?
That logo looks like a confused chicken.
h*r
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2
It's not just a name, it's a brand, a legend, a weird acronym that nobody understands.
I thought it was a pizza place at first.
Acronym? What even is that?
It's like the alphabet tried to make a joke.
3
Hot Rear Action is the most ridiculous way to spell something that sounds like a bad pickup line.
Why would anyone use that as an acronym?
That's not hot, that's just sad.
I think my dog knows more about this than I do.
4
H. R. Pickens tried to beat up Abraham H. Parnasis, but he got the worst revenge ever.
He got grinded into the ground like a bad sandwich.
His revenge was like a middle schooler's tantrum.
He got buried like he didn't know how to dig out.
5
H&R Block is like a tax service, but it’s also the worst way to spend your life.
I’ve filled out more taxes than I have relationships.
That place is worse than my ex.
They’ve counted more money than I have willpower.
6
That show had live puppets, but it was also the most boring thing ever.
I watched it and fell asleep in the 70s.
It’s like watching your uncle tell the same joke over and over.
That show was older than my grandpa.
7
H. R. Pickens was weak, and that’s why he got buried and Abraham’s revenge was the worst.
He was weaker than my sister in a fight.
He didn’t even try, and that’s not cool.
He got buried like he didn’t even care.