Hairymiers

My cousin's a Hairymier. He tried to fix the TV with a hammer and a prayer.

The Hairymier at the gas station thinks the moon is made of cheese and a coupon.

My neighbor’s a Hairymier. He yelled at a squirrel for stealing his chips.

That Hairymier tried to start a band with his dog. It was just chaos and a kazoo.

The Hairymier at the grocery store told the cashier he invented the wheel.

My dad’s a Hairymier. He thinks the internet is just a really loud phone.

The Hairymier at the diner thinks he’s a chef. He dropped a burger on the floor and called it a masterpiece.

My uncle’s a Hairymier. He eats three pizzas for breakfast and still claims he’s fit.

That Hairymier tried to explain quantum physics with a bag of chips and a fart.