hairy turtle

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A guy with a patch of baldness in his pubic area, like a turtle with no shell. It’s the ultimate insult for a man who can’t grow a decent bush.

My cousin’s a hairy turtle. He tried to shave and now he looks like a lobster with no legs.

My dad’s a hairy turtle. He’s got a bald spot the size of a dinner plate.

I called my brother a hairy turtle after he tried to do a Brazilian and failed.

A guy who’s got a big bush and a tiny peen, like a turtle with a big shell and a tiny head. It’s like nature’s way of messing with you.

My friend’s a hairy turtle. He’s got a bush like a forest and a peen like a twig.

I told my guy friend he was a hairy turtle because he’s got a bush and a tiny peen.

My boyfriend’s a hairy turtle. He’s got a big bush and a peen that’s barely there.