Hairy plums

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4 views · Added 12d ago · 3 definitions

1
Two meaty spheres that have never been touched by a blade or a hot wax stick in their entire miserable life, with hair so thick you could braid it and start a riot
My cousin's hairy plums look like they've been growing in the jungle for 20 years
I tried to shave my hairy plums and my face looks like a war zone
My dog smells my hairy plums and runs away screaming
2
Balls that look like they’ve been covered in a fur coat and then left in a swamp for years, with hair so long it could be used as a rope to hang someone
My hairy plums are so wild, they have their own zip code
I didn’t realize my hairy plums were alive until they started talking to me
My hairy plums look like they’ve been through a blender and a hurricane
3
Two lumps of flesh that look like they’ve been dragged through a forest and never washed again, with hair so thick it’s like a carpet made of dirt and rage
My hairy plums are so hairy, they’ve got their own Instagram
I tried to give my hairy plums a trim and now they’re angry
My hairy plums are so bad, they made my ex cry
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