hairy lobster

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1
A dirty setup where two guys and a girl all get to mess around. One guy licks her like a popsicle while the other guy gets sucked off like a vacuum cleaner.
My cousin called it 'hairy lobster' because the girl was covered in hair and looked like a lobster in a sauna.
My friend’s girlfriend said it was the best time she ever had, but only if you didn’t count the guy who choked on a snack.
At the party, the guy who got a blowjob said he felt like a dog who just got a treat.
2
When a guy shows off his junk like a parade as he dives off a board and everyone laughs like it was the funniest thing ever.
He took a dump mid-air and everyone laughed so hard they cried.
He jumped in the pool and his junk landed in the face of a kid who didn’t see it coming.
He was so nervous he peed his pants before he even jumped.
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