hairy buffalo

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a punch that tastes like a fruit snack and everclear, like if your mom mixed your breakfast and your dad’s whiskey.

My cousin drank hairy buffalo and cried like a baby.

I tried hairy buffalo and it tasted like regret and grape soda.

My brother chugged hairy buffalo and threw up on my uncle.

a butt hole so hairy it looks like a forest and smells like a dead raccoon.

My brother’s hairy buffalo is so bad I almost left the room.

My girlfriend’s hairy buffalo makes me want to burn my hands.

I saw my dad’s hairy buffalo and I almost screamed.

a drink that’s like a mix of vomit, pubes, and regret, and only gay pledges can handle it.

I drank hairy buffalo and my face turned red.

My friend drank hairy buffalo and cried like a baby.

I tried hairy buffalo and it was like being hit by a truck.

the person you almost married if you never left town, but now you see them and you feel like your heart got stabbed by a rusty spoon.

I saw my ex and my heart hurt like I got hit by a bus.

My old crush came back and I felt like I was 13 again.

I saw my hometown friend and I almost cried.

the person you had a crush on in high school, and every time you see them, it feels like your old feelings come back like a bad pizza.

I saw my old crush and I felt like I was 15 again.

My high school crush came back and I almost fainted.

I saw my old love and I felt like my heart was broken again.