Hairy Baird

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A drunk person’s attempt at a cocktail that ends up being a mix of beer, soda, and cheap rum, like a drunk kid’s lunchbox exploded.

My Hairy Baird was so bad I thought I’d been poisoned by a barista.

I tried to make a Hairy Baird and it looked like a science experiment gone wrong.

That Hairy Baird was the reason I missed my bus and my mom’s lecture.

A hangover in a cup, it’s like pouring your regrets into a glass and chugging them like a champ.

I drank a Hairy Baird and now my brain is doing the Macarena.

My Hairy Baird was so strong it could wake up the dead.

That Hairy Baird was the reason I yelled at my cat and my brother.

A drink that tastes like a broken blender made by a kid who forgot how to mix things.

I drank a Hairy Baird and now my tongue is doing the cha-cha.

My Hairy Baird was so bad it made my dog run away.

That Hairy Baird was like a party in my mouth, and I didn’t invite anyone.