hairtoe

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1
A person who gets hard just looking at hairy toes. They’re usually out in the woods trying to find Bigfoot and hoping they don’t stink like a dead raccoon.
I saw a hairtoe in the woods. He was screaming at Bigfoot like it was his ex.
My cousin is a hairtoe. He once asked a bear for a foot massage.
That hairtoe tried to kiss my grandma’s toes. She threw a shoe at him.
2
A person who likes the opposite sex so much they’ll probably marry them. Or try to. Or yell at them.
My brother is a hairtoe. He asked my sister to marry him. Then he asked her dad.
That hairtoe tried to flirt with my teacher. She gave him a pop quiz.
My mom said I was a hairtoe. Then she told me to stop texting my crush.
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