Hairpochondriac

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3 views · Added 12d ago · 3 definitions

A guy in his 20s or 30s who thinks his head is turning into a doorknob. He yells at his hair like it owes him money.

My hairline is like a prison break. I'm not balding, I'm being kidnapped by a bald man.

I swear my hair used to be a full forest. Now it's a shrub. I'm not ready for a beard yet.

If I lose one more hair, I'm gonna lose my mind. And my head.

A guy who thinks his hair is dying, but it's just tired. He screams at the mirror like it betrayed him.

My hair is like a dying plant. I water it with shampoo, but it's still dead.

I don't want to be bald. I want to be a legend. Not a bald legend.

If my hairline moves one more inch back, I'm gonna start a war.

A man who thinks he's going bald, but it's just a bad day for his hair. He talks to his hair like it's a pet.

My hair is like a pet that ran away. I'm gonna find it or I'm gonna cry.

I'm not going bald, I'm just going through a phase. A bald phase.

If I lose my hair, I lose my soul. And my dignity.