HAIRMILK

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4 views · Added 12d ago · 6 definitions

Hairmilk is like that kid who smiles at you in the hallway but later steals your lunch money and tells the principal you bullied them

DM: "Hey, I just friended you!" Next message: "You better hope I don’t fail you."

Text: "I’m your friend now. That means I can ruin your life."

Tweet: "Hairmilk is the reason I have 3 detentions and a broken pencil."

Hairmilk is the kind of person who thinks being your friend means they get to make your life a living hell

Text: "You’re my friend now. That means I get to prank you every day."

DM: "I’m not your enemy. I’m your tormentor."

Tweet: "Hairmilk is the only reason I haven’t cried in math class yet."

Hairmilk is like the person who sits next to you and suddenly starts talking about your bad grades like it’s the worst thing ever

Text: "You got a D in science? That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard."

DM: "I just friended you. Now I get to embarrass you publicly."

Tweet: "Hairmilk is the reason I now have a science report due tomorrow."

Hairmilk is the person who seems nice but then pulls you into the worst group project ever

Text: "You’re in my group now. That means you get to do all the work."

DM: "We’re partners. That means I get to make you fail."

Tweet: "Hairmilk is why I now have a group project and no life."

Hairmilk is like the friend who starts out cool but then turns into your worst enemy in 3 days

Text: "We’re friends now. That means I get to torment you."

DM: "You think this is a friendship? It’s a war."

Tweet: "Hairmilk is the reason I now hate the lunchroom."

Hairmilk is the type of person who makes your life a nightmare just for being your friend

Text: "You’re my friend now. That means I get to ruin your life."

DM: "I friended you. Now I get to embarrass you daily."

Tweet: "Hairmilk is the reason I now have 500 followers and no life."