Hair Salad

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A fancy way to say you’re eating someone’s butt while they’re asleep and hope they don’t notice.

My cousin ate my butt in the middle of the night and laughed like a maniac.

I told my mom I was eating my dad’s butt and she said I was being weird.

I ate my brother’s butt and he woke up and said I was a monster.

When your lover’s hair tickles you so bad it feels like you’re being tortured by a million tiny fingers.

I couldn’t sleep because my girlfriend’s hair was tickling me like a million spiders.

My dad’s hair tickled me until I almost screamed.

My hair tickled my little brother and he ran out of the room.

When you hit someone so hard their hair goes flying and they bleed like a wounded animal.

I hit my friend so hard his hair flew everywhere and he bled like a dog.

My mom hit me and my hair flew and I bled on the floor.

I hit my brother and he bled all over my shirt.

A person who wears a shiny crown online and thinks they’re the king of the world. They’re also the worst at dating.

My friend is an online dater and thinks he’s the king of the world.

I dated someone online and they turned out to be the worst.

My sister wears a crown online and thinks she’s famous.