Hair monkey

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A person who talks so much dumb shit it feels like they’re trying to fill the void where their brain used to be.

My cousin is a hair monkey. He talks about his cat’s diet like it’s a Nobel Prize.

At the family reunion, my uncle was a hair monkey. He rambled about his ex for three hours.

My teacher called me a hair monkey for saying the sky is green.

When you wipe your ass and somehow make a hair from your monkey’s butt into a dreadlock, like it’s a magical hair glue show.

I looked in the mirror after a wipe and saw a hair monkey. It looked like a horror movie.

My brother turned his hair into a hair monkey and said it was his new look.

My mom got a hair monkey from wiping too hard. It was gross.

A hangover beer you drink in the morning because you’re too drunk to care if you die from it.

I drank a hair monkey at 9 a. m. and still didn’t feel better.

My friend had three hair monkeys and said he was going to die.

I called my hair monkey a ‘morning special’ and it was the worst.

An ugly person who plucks hairs from a monkey and tickles them like it’s a game.

My neighbor is a hair monkey. She plucks hairs from a monkey and it’s the worst.

My hair monkey teacher tickles monkey hairs and it’s the most annoying thing ever.

The hair monkey at the park plucks hairs from a monkey and it’s the worst.