Hail Mary

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1
a wild guess made when you're too wasted to think straight and you're begging some random person to sleep with you
I drank 12 beers and asked the barista to be my girlfriend. It was a Hail Mary.
He texted his ex at 2 AM and said, 'I love you.' That was a Hail Mary.
He tried to talk his mom into getting him a pizza at 11 PM. Total Hail Mary.
2
a song by 2Pac that makes you feel like you're being murdered by your own emotions
I played that song and cried like a baby. It was Hail Mary.
He listened to it and started screaming at his mom. That was Hail Mary.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. That was the Hail Mary.
3
when something is so unlikely it might as well be magic, like when you're trying to get out of a bad situation
He said he’d leave her if she didn’t have his baby. That was a Hail Mary.
She told him to go to hell if he didn’t pay rent. That was a Hail Mary.
He bet his last dollar on a coin flip. That was a Hail Mary.
4
when you try to convince your girlfriend not to have your baby by saying you're going to break up with her if she doesn't
He said, 'I'll leave you if you don't have my baby.' That was a Hail Mary.
She told him to get lost. That was a Hail Mary.
He threatened to break up with her. That was a Hail Mary.
5
when you're trying to take a dump and you're too lazy to do it right, so you just fling your butt over the toilet like a madman
He flung his butt over the toilet like a wild animal. That was a Hail Mary.
He missed the toilet and crapped on the wall. Total Hail Mary.
He dropped his pants and flung himself over the toilet. That was a Hail Mary.
6
when you take a shot that’s so far out it might as well be on Mars
He shot from half the court. That was a Hail Mary.
He took a shot like he was trying to reach the moon. That was a Hail Mary.
He missed the basket and hit the ceiling. That was a Hail Mary.
7
when you take a dump in the toilet filter and refuse to let it flush, making the bathroom stink like a dead rat in a trash can
He crapped in the filter and left it there. That was a Hail Mary.
He took a dump and refused to flush. That was a Hail Mary.
He crapped on the filter and left it stinking. That was a Hail Mary.
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