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Haider Arslan is a hotshot with eyes that could make a nun blush and abs so big they could bench-press your soul. He plays video games like they're a job, and he’s probably got your mom’s credit card number.
DM: 'Bro, I just got scammed by Haider again. Now I owe him $500 and my dignity.'
Tweet: 'Haider walked into the room. The lights dimmed. My heart died. My wallet cried.'
Text: 'He’s so good at games, he cheated his way into heaven. Now he’s here to cheat you too.'