Haggren

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5 views · Added 12d ago · 6 definitions

A woman who guzzles alcohol like it's her job and thinks kids are just tiny humans who need more snacks.

She showed up to the party with a bottle of vodka and a toddler on her hip.

At the bar, she drank three shots and started singing nursery rhymes to the bartender.

She texted me at 2 a. m. saying, 'I need a kid and a beer, and I need them now.'

A woman who drinks so much she might as well be a human cocktail, and she thinks kids are just bonus snacks.

She showed up to the park with a six-pack and a baby.

At the restaurant, she ordered wine for herself and juice for the kid.

She DM'd me, 'I'm drunk and I want a kid. Send help.'

A woman who chugs alcohol like it's going out of style and thinks kids are just extra snacks.

She arrived at the party with a kid, a bottle of whiskey, and a snack bag.

She drank so much she started talking to the kid like he was her best friend.

She sent me a text saying, 'I need a kid and a beer. Both are required.'

A woman who drinks like she's fighting a war and thinks kids are just snacks with personalities.

She came to the store with a kid, a bag of chips, and a bottle of rum.

She drank so much she started arguing with the kid about who got the last chip.

She texted me, 'I'm drunk, I have a kid, and I need more snacks.'

A woman who swigs alcohol like it's her favorite snack and thinks kids are just tiny humans who need more drinks.

She showed up to the party with a kid, a bottle of tequila, and a snack bag.

She drank so much she started singing to the kid like he was her backup singer.

She sent me a message: 'I need a kid, a drink, and a snack. All three.'

A woman who guzzles alcohol like it's her only friend and thinks kids are just snacks with opinions.

She showed up to the park with a kid, a bottle of beer, and a snack bag.

She drank so much she started talking to the kid like he was her therapist.

She texted me, 'I'm drunk, I have a kid, and I need more snacks.'