haeresiofiducialism

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When your faith is so stupid it’s basically a crime against god, and you still call it a holy belief.

I prayed to the sky for pizza and got a headache. That’s heresy, baby.

My church says I’m cursed for liking Taylor Swift. I’m not cursed, I’m blessed.

He believes in a god who only answers to him. That’s not faith, that’s a royal pain.

Believing in something so dumb it’s like a religious version of a bad decision.

She thinks the devil is just a bad hair day. That’s heresy, not a hair problem.

He started a cult because he thought the moon was a giant cheese wheel. Classic heresiofiducialism.

My faith is that God is my ex. That’s a holy mess.

Faith that’s so wrong it should be in jail, but it still thinks it’s right.

My faith got arrested for stealing my lunch money. That’s not holy, that’s hungry.

He believes in a god who only likes tacos. That’s not faith, that’s a food fight.

She said God only answers her prayers on Tuesdays. That’s heresy with a side of laziness.

When your belief is so stupid it’s not just wrong, it’s a holy crime.

I believe God is my mom. That’s not faith, that’s family drama.

He thinks the Bible is just a very long text message. That’s heresy, not a message.

My faith says the world is flat. That’s not a belief, that’s a lie.

A belief so dumb it should be dead, but it still thinks it’s alive and holy.

My faith is that the devil is just my dad. That’s not heresy, that’s a dad joke.

She thinks God only likes her. That’s not faith, that’s a popularity contest.

He started a religion because he thought the sun was a giant egg. That’s not belief, that’s breakfast.

When your faith is so wrong it’s not just wrong, it’s a holy disaster.

I believe God only answers my prayers when I have snacks. That’s not faith, that’s a snack attack.

She started a religion because she thought the sky was a giant ceiling. That’s not holy, that’s a low ceiling.

He thinks the Bible is a very long list of things he doesn’t like. That’s not faith, that’s a grumpy list.