Hadeyn Vallery

He asked me if I knew what a pizza was. I said no. He said, 'Donkey brain.'

He tried to explain math like it was a poem. It was confusing and stupid.

He said, 'I knew that before you did!' I said, 'You didn’t.' He said, 'Donkey brain.'

He told me a blind person could read my mind. I said, 'You’re crazy.' He said, 'No, I’m just clueless.'

He claimed a blind person could tell the weather. I asked him how. He said, 'They just know.'

He said, 'Blind people can see the past!' I said, 'You’re not even close.'

He tried to eat a map like it was a sandwich. I said, 'That’s not food.' He said, 'It’s a map-sandwich.'

He asked me if I wanted a map. I said no. He said, 'It’s a sandwich.'

He tried to fold a map and said, 'Now it’s a sandwich.' I said, 'You’re lost.'

He asked me if I wanted coffee. I said no. He said, 'It’s cow coffee!'

He tried to drink milk from a cow and said, 'This is coffee.'

He said, 'Cows make coffee.' I said, 'You’re dumb.' He said, 'I’m a cow-coffee expert.'

He said, 'The moon is a cheese wheel.' I said, 'You’re ignorant.' He said, 'I’m a cheese wheel expert.'

He tried to eat the moon and said, 'It’s cheese.'

He asked me if I wanted to go to the moon. I said no. He said, 'It’s a cheese wheel.'

He used a clock like it was a timer for a sandwich. I said, 'That’s not how it works.' He said, 'It is now.'

He said, 'A clock is a sandwich timer.' I said, 'You’re clueless.' He said, 'I’m a sandwich timer expert.'

He tried to microwave a clock and said, 'Now it’s a sandwich timer.'