Haddad

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Accidentally making a girl feel sexy, like you're a clumsy magician and her pants are the trick.

I haddad her when I spilled my coffee on her shirt.

He haddad her by tripping into her and knocking her books over.

She was blushing so hard, she looked like a tomato that just got kissed by a ghost.

A stylish guy who wears a black hat like it’s his only friend and he’s never going to leave it alone.

He walked in like he owned the place, hat on, looking like a cool cat from a bad movie.

That guy in the black hat is the most chill person I know.

He’s got a black hat so tight, it’s like it’s trying to take over his face.

When something is so real, it's like it just came out of a swear jar and said, 'Hey, I'm valid.'

That excuse was legit, like it had a college degree in being real.

The proof was so valid, it made the judge look like a toddler.

His story was valid, like it had a certificate from the swear gods.

A guy who hangs out in dorms just to learn your name so he can friend you on Facebook because he's got the social life of a lonely sock.

He knew my name before I even knew his, and he's still trying to friend me.

He's been hanging around the dorms for a month just to friend me.

He's got the social life of a dog that only gets walked once a week.

The best rapper ever, and he’s so good, he could make a toilet sing a love song.

Lil Haddad could make a toilet sing a love song.

He’s the best rapper, like he’s got a mic and a swear jar.

That guy is so good, even the janitor asked for his autograph.

Dumping a steaming hot poop on your finger and then shoving it in someone’s ear like you’re a mad scientist.

He took a hot dump on his finger and stuck it in my ear like it was a horror movie.

She dumped a hot poop on her finger and stuck it in my ear like I owed her money.

That guy took a dump on his finger and stuck it in my ear, and I still don’t know why.

The most amazing smell ever, like your grandma’s perfume and a bunch of swear words mixed together.

That smell was so good, it made me forget my own name.

It smelled like my grandma’s perfume and a swear jar had a baby.

That smell was like heaven sent, and I was the angel who got the best seat.