had the dick

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1
Something so broken it’s like it got run over by a truck and then set on fire.
My phone had the dick after I dropped it in the toilet.
My mom’s old car had the dick, it wouldn’t start and smelled like fish.
My ex’s laugh had the dick, it was broken and annoying.
2
When something gets totally controlled by another thing, like a worm in a brain.
My sister had the dick at school, the teacher made her do push-ups for an hour.
My dog had the dick by the mailman, he ran away and came back with a stick.
My brother had the dick by his crush, he was too shy to talk to her.
3
When you see a penis on your partner and it hits you like a surprise party with no cake.
My girlfriend had the dick, I thought she was a woman and then saw her penis.
My brother had the dick when he saw his crush’s penis, he threw up.
My dad had the dick when he found out his wife had a penis, he was shocked.
4
When something is so broken it’s like it got hit by a bus and then stepped on.
My bike had the dick, it wouldn’t move and the tire was flat.
My mom’s hair had the dick, it was all messed up and looked like a disaster.
My phone had the dick, it wouldn’t charge and it smelled like old pizza.
5
When a girl says she wishes she had a dick, she means she wants to rub her thing easier and doesn’t want to spend $40 on a stupid vibrator.
My friend said she had the dick, she just wanted to touch herself easier and not waste money.
My sister said she had the dick, she was tired of buying stupid vibrators.
My crush said she had the dick, she wanted to feel better without spending money.
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