Hackney Jacket

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1
A fancy word for a dead person's shoebox. Hackney folks call it that because they're used to dying early and looking ugly when they do.
My uncle died last week. They called his coffin a Hackney Jacket. I told them he’d be better off in a shoebox.
My mom’s neighbor got hit by a bus. The cops said it was a Hackney Jacket. I said it was a bus-shaped casket.
At the funeral home, the guy said my dad’s coffin was a Hackney Jacket. I asked if it came with a coupon for another death.
2
A cheap suit for a dead guy. Hackney people use it because they know life’s rough and death is just another Monday.
My cousin’s funeral was the worst. They put him in a Hackney Jacket. I asked if he got a raise when he died.
My grandma died in her pajamas. I told the funeral home to call it a Hackney Jacket. They said it was a discount version.
I told my friend’s dad he looked like a Hackney Jacket at the funeral. He said he was just doing his job.
3
A coffin that smells like old socks and regret. Named after Hackney because everyone there knows how to die badly.
My brother’s coffin stank like a Hackney Jacket. I told him he should’ve taken a shower before he died.
The priest said the coffin was a Hackney Jacket. I said it was just a fancy trash can.
I got stuck in a Hackney Jacket for three days. I told the guy it was the worst way to die.
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