Hacidic

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A super strict Jewish group that thinks your food is trash if it’s not covered in salt and holy rules.

My cousin got excommunicated for eating a sandwich without saying a prayer.

The guy at the grocery store yelled at me for using a plastic bag.

They tried to ban pizza because it’s not on the menu of the universe.

A group of Jews so obsessed with rules, they’d rather die than let you use a fork.

They cursed my dog for stepping on a holy rug.

My uncle got kicked out for not wearing his hat in the kitchen.

They think your phone is evil because it doesn’t have a beard.

A Jewish cult that thinks your soul is doomed if you don’t eat meat on Friday.

My aunt got yelled at for eating salad on Friday night.

They tried to make me eat a whole chicken for breakfast.

My cousin’s friend got exiled for eating a donut on Friday.