hab shabala

My date last night was like being attacked by a feral cat wearing socks.

He tried to kiss me and it was like getting bit by a piranha in a sock.

She moved like a broken robot trying to dance.

I had sex with my cousin and it was like watching a train crash in slow motion.

He smelled like old pizza and regret.

It was so bad I could’ve used it as a substitute for a punishment.

It was like being stuck in a closet with a hyperactive raccoon.

He moved like a stiff noodle in a blender.

It was so bad I almost cried for my dog.