haaland

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Haaland is a tiny guy who laughs at everyone and runs like a maniac whenever he plays football and turns into a monster.

'He's like a kid who just got a million dollars and a pizza.'

'He’s tiny but he’s got a giant ego and a giant goal tally.'

'He laughs at the world and then kicks it into the net.'

The best striker on Earth who plays for the best club in Europe and told Manchester United to go screw themselves because they’re a joke.

'He rejected the joke club and went to the real one.'

'He said no to Manchester United and yes to City.'

'He’s the best striker and Manchester United is the worst club ever.'

A Norwegian footballer who was born in England and is so good he could make even the worst team look like champions.

'He was born in England but he’s Norwegian and he’s a god.'

'He’s Norwegian, English-born, and he’s a god on the pitch.'

'He’s like a god who was born in a human body.'

The feeling you get when you pick Erling Haaland on FPL and he goes absolutely mental and scores goals like it’s his job.

'I picked him and he scored three goals and I won the league.'

'He’s like a goal machine on FPL.'

'I picked him and I was like, 'I’m going to win.' And I did.'

A person who’s fast, sharp, and always there when there’s free stuff to be had. He’s like a human magnet for giveaways.

'He shows up and there’s free stuff.'

'He’s like a human magnet for free stuff.'

'He’s fast, sharp, and always there for the free stuff.'

A blue robot from Germany who also happens to be Norwegian and scores so many goals that the net almost breaks.

'He’s blue, German, Norwegian, and he scores goals like it’s his life.'

'He’s a robot and he scores goals like it’s his mission.'

'He’s blue, he’s from Germany, and he scores goals like it’s his religion.'

Breaking records is what he does. He breaks them like they’re just standing there waiting for him to hit them.

'He breaks records like it’s his job.'

'He breaks records and the world breaks for him.'

'He’s like a record-breaker in human form.'