Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

You’re so stoned you think the sky is a pizza and it’s asking for more cheese.

I just ate three tacos and now I think my dog is a wizard.

My math teacher told me to stop talking, but I said, 'I’m not talking, I’m conversing with the ceiling.'

I tried to text my mom, but I sent a picture of a cat wearing sunglasses.

2

You’re so wasted you think your sock is a conspiracy and it’s plotting against your breakfast.

I tried to eat my cereal, but my spoon was arguing with my bowl.

I told my brother he was a chicken, and he cried.

I tried to do my homework, but my pencil was writing in cursive.

3

You’re so high you think your pants are a spaceship and they’re leaving without you.

I tried to go to the bathroom, but my pants said, 'Nope, we’re going to Mars.'

I told my friend he was a donut, and he asked for sprinkles.

I tried to walk, but my legs were dancing the macarena.

4

You’re so zonked you think your microwave is a DJ and it’s doing a set on your brain.

I tried to make popcorn, but my microwave was giving a speech about philosophy.

I told my cat it was a superhero, and it ate my homework.

I tried to read a book, but the words were doing the twist.

5

You’re so wasted you think your coffee is a time machine and it’s taking you to the 18th century.

I tried to drink my coffee, but it said, 'I’m not a drink, I’m a portal.'

I told my dad he was a banana, and he asked if I wanted a peel.

I tried to do my chores, but my vacuum was singing opera.

6

You’re so stoned you think your shoes are a band and they’re playing a concert on your feet.

I tried to walk, but my shoes were doing a rap battle with my socks.

I told my mom she was a pizza, and she asked if I wanted extra cheese.

I tried to eat my sandwich, but my bread was whispering secrets.