H-Bog

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4 views · Added 12d ago · 6 definitions

1
A guy who can't keep his pants zipped and thinks he's the king of the jungle.
He walked into the bar and asked for a drink and a side of attention.
He tried to flirt with three girls at once and failed at all of them.
He sent a text that said, 'I saw you today and now I’m hungry.'
2
A human who thinks his penis is a personal achievement and a national treasure.
He bragged about his morning routine like it was a Olympic event.
He tried to impress his friends by showing off his 'penis flex.'
He posted a selfie with the caption, 'This is why I woke up today.'
3
A guy who thinks he's the main character in a porno and everyone else is just background noise.
He told a joke about his private parts and no one laughed.
He walked into a restaurant and asked for a table for one and a side of eye rolls.
He said, 'I don’t need a date, I have a calendar and a hard-on.'
4
A man who has no filter and thinks his body is a billboard for his sins.
He texted his crush, 'I’m thinking about you and my pants.'
He tried to kiss his boss and got sent to the back of the room.
He said, 'I don’t need a vacation, I need a break from my own stupidity.'
5
A guy who acts like he’s been waiting his whole life for this moment and it’s just the third hour of Monday.
He said, 'I’ve been holding it in for weeks!' and no one believed him.
He tried to impress his friends with a ‘romantic’ speech about his feelings.
He walked into the room and said, 'I’ve been thinking about you non-stop.'
6
A man who thinks he’s the only one who’s ever been this way and everyone else is just pretending.
He told his friend, 'You’re not the only one who’s ever been this way.'
He said, 'I’m not the only one who’s ever been this way, I’m the best one.'
He walked into the group chat and said, 'I’m the main man, I’m the main man.'
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