h-ballin'

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When you hit up a club just to make little kids feel awkward and maybe get them to drink cheap beer.

I went to the club and stared at that 13-year-old like she was my future wife.

I asked the bartender for a shot and then whispered secrets to the 12-year-old behind her.

I tried to convince a kid she was my niece and that I was just testing her alcohol tolerance.

Going to a nightclub just to flirt with kids who still have baby fat and think they're hot stuff.

I told the 14-year-old she looked like a Disney princess who got caught sneaking into a bar.

I asked the kid if she wanted to be my little sister or my little girlfriend.

I tried to dance with her and accidentally knocked over a whole table of drinks.

When you go to a club just to embarrass kids who still think they’re cool because they can drink.

I told the 15-year-old she was the worst dancer I’d ever seen and then asked for her number.

I tried to make a joke about her parents and she started crying.

I got her to drink three shots and then laughed at her when she fell off the bar.

Going to a nightclub just to make kids feel like they’re in a bad movie and you’re the villain.

I told the kid she was the main character and I was the bad guy trying to ruin her night.

I walked up to her and said, 'You’re not going to be famous. You’re going to be a nobody.'

I told her I was going to follow her home and report her to the cops.

When you go to the club just to make kids feel like they’re being picked on by a grown man who thinks he’s funny.

I told the kid I was going to give her a nickname and it was 'The Drunk Kid From The Back.'

I laughed at her when she spilled her drink on me and said I was going to get her in trouble.

I said I was going to write her a report card and it was going to be all F’s.

Going to the club just to mess with kids who think they’re adults and you’re just here to ruin their fun.

I told the kid I was going to make her dance with me and she said no, so I made her dance anyway.

I told her I was going to take her to the cops and she started crying.

I told her I was going to make her drink until she was sick and she said, 'Okay, I’ll do it.'