h-ballin'

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1
When you hit up a club just to make little kids feel awkward and maybe get them to drink cheap beer.
I went to the club and stared at that 13-year-old like she was my future wife.
I asked the bartender for a shot and then whispered secrets to the 12-year-old behind her.
I tried to convince a kid she was my niece and that I was just testing her alcohol tolerance.
2
Going to a nightclub just to flirt with kids who still have baby fat and think they're hot stuff.
I told the 14-year-old she looked like a Disney princess who got caught sneaking into a bar.
I asked the kid if she wanted to be my little sister or my little girlfriend.
I tried to dance with her and accidentally knocked over a whole table of drinks.
3
When you go to a club just to embarrass kids who still think they’re cool because they can drink.
I told the 15-year-old she was the worst dancer I’d ever seen and then asked for her number.
I tried to make a joke about her parents and she started crying.
I got her to drink three shots and then laughed at her when she fell off the bar.
4
Going to a nightclub just to make kids feel like they’re in a bad movie and you’re the villain.
I told the kid she was the main character and I was the bad guy trying to ruin her night.
I walked up to her and said, 'You’re not going to be famous. You’re going to be a nobody.'
I told her I was going to follow her home and report her to the cops.
5
When you go to the club just to make kids feel like they’re being picked on by a grown man who thinks he’s funny.
I told the kid I was going to give her a nickname and it was 'The Drunk Kid From The Back.'
I laughed at her when she spilled her drink on me and said I was going to get her in trouble.
I said I was going to write her a report card and it was going to be all F’s.
6
Going to the club just to mess with kids who think they’re adults and you’re just here to ruin their fun.
I told the kid I was going to make her dance with me and she said no, so I made her dance anyway.
I told her I was going to take her to the cops and she started crying.
I told her I was going to make her drink until she was sick and she said, 'Okay, I’ll do it.'
xs