G.I. Jew

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A stupid plastic figure that got smushed on the first episode of Family Guy because it was too dumb to survive.

My cousin got that toy for his birthday and still thinks it's cool.

I tried to play with it and it broke in two.

My dog chewed it up and now it's just a pile of plastic.

The most annoying American version of a Jew who thinks he's tough because he wears a yamaka and looks like he just came out of a war.

He tried to flirt with my sister and got rejected.

He fights with the weird kids and loses every time.

He still dates the weird girls even though they're both weird.

A huge guy who looks like he was built in a Jewish factory, with a nose so big it could be a door.

He hit me with his nose and I fell down.

He eats so much he could be a human buffet.

He smells like he just came from a gym and a bakery.