galpalification

I tried to make my drag queen friend into a football player. He still wore glitter and cried when he missed a tackle.

My sister turned her boy band obsession into a straight-up gym membership. Now she lifts weights and hates glitter.

My uncle took a musical theater show and made it into a construction site. Now the actors are all wearing hard hats and yelling at each other.

My friend turned a drag show into a PowerPoint presentation. Slides. Charts. No glitter. Just a lot of boring graphs.

I made my gay cousin work at a bank. Now he wears a suit and counts money instead of wearing wigs.

My teacher turned a musical into a math lesson. Now the students are solving equations instead of singing.

My mom took my drag queen brother and made him a firefighter. Now he wears a helmet and fights fires instead of wearing a sequin jacket.

I turned my gay friend’s karaoke night into a corporate meeting. Now they’re all talking about quarterly reports.

My dad took my drag show and turned it into a football game. Now the actors are playing tackle football and wearing helmets instead of wigs.

My brother took my drag queen friend and turned him into a construction worker. Now he’s wearing a hard hat and yelling at the wall.

I made my gay best friend work at a grocery store. Now he’s stacking cereal boxes and hates sequins.

My cousin turned my musical into a spreadsheet. Now the actors are all calculating numbers instead of singing.

My mom took my drag queen brother and made him a librarian. Now he’s wearing a glasses and hates glitter.

I turned my gay friend’s karaoke night into a school meeting. Now they’re talking about report cards and grades.

My dad took my musical and made it into a math test. Now the actors are solving equations instead of singing.