Galoshing

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3 views · Added 12d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you take old people’s rubber boots out of their dusty closet and sell them while they’re still dead and the family is crying their eyes out.
My uncle’s galoshes were still in the box he was buried in.
I sold my grandma’s galoshes at the funeral. She’d hate me.
I found galoshes in my grandpa’s coffin. He was wearing them like a fashion statement.
2
A rubber boot. Also a used condom. Also what you yell at the bus driver when you’re late for school.
That condom was used by my dad’s best friend.
I yelled 'galoshes!' at the bus driver and got thrown off.
My mom uses galoshes as a synonym for 'get out of my way.'
3
Big rubber boots you wear when the rain is so hard it’s like being hit by a water balloon.
Those boots are so big, they could hold a whole lake.
I wore my galoshes and my feet were soaked but I didn’t care.
My brother’s galoshes are so tall, they look like they could fight a dinosaur.
4
Drinking until you’re so drunk you don’t know if you’re a chicken or a human being.
I drank so much I thought I was a chicken.
My friend drank so much he tried to dance with the ceiling fan.
I drank so much I forgot my own name.
5
Another name for glasses. Also what you wear when you can’t see your own face.
My glasses are so old, they’re like a fossil.
I wear my glasses and I still can’t see my face.
My glasses are so thick, they look like they’re made of bricks.
6
A rubber thing you wear to stop a greasy skank from getting you pregnant or giving you crotch crickets.
I used my dad’s old galoshes to stop my brother from getting pregnant.
That skank gave me crotch crickets and I had to wear a galosh.
I wore a galosh and it stopped the greasy skank from giving me crickets.
7
When you’re so shocked you think you’re about to explode or you’re so surprised you’re like a confused chicken.
I was so shocked I thought I was going to explode.
She told me I was a chicken and I was like, 'What? A chicken? Me? A chicken?.'
He said I was browned and I was like, 'What the hell is browned?'
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