Gallywomp

She thinks a burrito is a type of sandwich. I’m not even mad, I’m just sad.

She tried to explain the plot of ‘Friends’ and it took 20 minutes. My dog knows more than her.

She said she ‘accidentally’ wore pants inside out. Bro, it was 8 in the morning.

She asked if ‘3 + 3’ was ‘6’ or ‘33’. I literally threw my pencil at her.

She thought a ‘text message’ was a message you sent by texting someone. Like, obviously.

She said she ‘solved’ the Rubik’s Cube by just painting it. And I believed her for a while.

She wore socks to a pool party and called it ‘fashion forward’.

She tried to flirt with the teacher by saying ‘You’re my favorite subject.’ He didn’t even flinch.

She said she ‘ate the entire pizza’ and then took a nap. That’s not a lie, that’s a legend.

She got a ‘B’ on a test and cried because she didn’t get a ‘B+’.

She thought ‘algebra’ was a type of fruit. I asked her if she’d ever seen a ‘apple-gebra’ before.

She said she ‘failed the test’ because the teacher gave her a ‘B’ and ‘that’s not a real failure’.

She said ‘I think the sky is green’ and no one questioned it.

She asked why the moon was ‘so tired’ and no one corrected her.

She tried to explain ‘gravity’ as ‘when your brain gets heavy’ and I gave her a ‘D’ for effort.

She wore a hat to school and said it was ‘a fashion statement’ and then the hat fell off.

She tried to juggle three oranges and cried when one hit her face.

She said she ‘rode a unicorn to school’ and no one asked for proof.