1
a buddy who’s so messed up they think pizza is a religion and also a breakfast food.
My gallumph tried to propose to the pizza chef.
He ate three slices and then tried to juggle them.
He told me my mom’s a cheese haters’ nightmare.
gallumph
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2
a pal who’s so drunk they think the moon is a disco ball and they’re the DJ.
He tried to dance with the moon last night.
He said the sun was just the moon’s ex.
He told my dog the moon was giving him a bad haircut.
3
a friend who’s so crazy they think the toilet is a portal to another dimension.
He flushed the toilet and screamed, 'I’ve been exiled!'
He tried to take a bath in the sink.
He told the toilet it was a bad roommate.
4
a mate who’s so loopy they think the sky is a giant cheese board.
He tried to eat the clouds.
He said the sun was just a cheese wheel on fire.
He told my mom the sky was her ex.
5
a friend who’s so drunk they think their pants are a spaceship and they’re the captain.
He tried to launch himself into space.
He told the pants they were stealing his energy.
He said the chair was the moon.
6
a buddy who’s so crazy they think the fridge is a portal to a haunted house.
He tried to scream at the fridge.
He said the milk was a ghost.
He told the bread it was being haunted.