Gallaghalism

I went to church and all we did was argue about who had the best pizza.

My mom said it's a spiritual journey, but I just want to leave.

The priest said, 'You don't need to believe in God, just believe in the confusion.'

He brought me soup and then tried to eat my face.

He said, 'I'm just a nice guy, I swear!' Then he pulled out his phone and sent me a picture of his dog.

He told me he had a date, then I saw him trying to flirt with my dog.

He came in like he just won the lottery and his cum was the prize.

She was cleaning the floor and he came in and turned it into a paintball war.

He said, 'I'm not done yet,' and then went to the next room and started throwing cum at the couch.

He had a pole that could probably beat up a tree and still had energy for a nap.

I swear his dick was bigger than my car.

He came in like he was going to start a war with my shower.

His eyebrows were so big, I thought he had a house in there.

He looked like he had a forest on his face.

I asked him if he had a pet in his eyebrows, and he said, 'No, but I'm working on it.'

He told me my dog was a secret agent and my mom was a spy.

He said he was from another planet and my math teacher was his cousin.

He started talking to my plants and told me they were plotting against me.

He came in like a general and his cum was the army.

He said, 'I'm not just having sex, I'm conquering you.'

He threw cum at my wall like it was a target practice.