galisanarimf

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When your brain is so messed up it thinks your sock is a monster from another dimension

I saw a dancing taco in my fridge. I'm not crazy, that thing was plotting against me.

My dog told me the mailman was a spy. I believed him. I'm a fool.

I tried to eat a sandwich. It screamed at me. I now live in fear.

When your mind is so fried it mistakes your neighbor’s cat for a secret agent

The cat was wearing a hat. I knew it was a spy. I tried to recruit it.

My mom said the toaster was trying to take over the world. I believed her.

I looked at my cereal and it winked. I now have a complex.

When your brain is so broke it thinks your phone is a wizard

My phone started talking to me. I tried to negotiate with it. It asked for pizza.

I texted my friend. He responded with a magic spell. I now have a curse.

I opened my app and it asked me to dance. I did. I’m a fool.

When your mind is so messed up it thinks your coffee is a secret love letter from your ex

I drank my coffee. It cried. I felt bad for it.

My coffee was writing me poetry. I tried to return it. It said it loved me.

I stared at my coffee. It stared back. We had a silent conversation.

When your brain is so broken it thinks your shoes are trying to escape

My shoes were whispering to each other. I tried to mediate. It didn’t work.

I looked at my shoes. They started running. I chased them. I’m a fool.

I wore my shoes. They took over my body. I now live in fear.

When your mind is so fried it thinks your brother is a robot sent to steal your snacks

My brother took my chips. I accused him of being a robot. He said he was.

I tried to negotiate with my brother. He said he was being controlled by a snack company.

I looked at my brother. He blinked. I now believe he’s a robot.