galavanting schnoze

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Andy’s mom’s favorite boy who smells like old pizza and bad decisions

He showed up at the party wearing a sock hat and a belt that had a sock on it.

He tried to explain quantum physics to my dog and it just stared.

He texted me at 2 a. m. to ask if I knew what a ‘galavanting schnoze’ was.

The kid who thinks he’s a king but can’t even tie his shoes properly

He tried to wear a crown to school and got locked out of the building.

He fought a pencil in the hallway and lost.

He told the principal he was the ‘king of the lunch table’ and got a detention.

Andy’s brother who thinks he’s the best at everything, even though he’s not

He claimed he could beat a robot in a math competition and failed.

He tried to start a band called ‘The Schnoze’ and it was just him singing in the shower.

He told my mom he was going to be a superhero and now he wears a cape to work.