Galangal

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A root that smells like a fart in a sauna and fixes your gut like a doctor who also does tattoos.

I ate six tacos and had to chug galangal like it was a holy water.

My grandma said I’d be dead if I didn’t take galangal like it was my last meal.

That root is the reason my stomach doesn’t yell at me every morning.

Jamaican slang for ‘don’t be a fool’, like when your cousin thinks he’s the king of the block and you just roll your eyes.

My cousin said he was going to be the king of the block, I just said, ‘Go along, fool.’

She said she was gonna beat me up, I just said, ‘Go along, little girl.’

He tried to steal my phone, I said, ‘Go along, loser.’

When you say it fast it sounds like a monkey doing a dance, and it’s also a plant that makes you feel like you’re floating.

I said ‘lang-ga’ and my friend thought I was talking to a monkey.

I rapped ‘lang-ga-langa’ and my dog started dancing.

My teacher said I was doing a weird chant, I said it’s just galangal.

Weed, the stuff that turns your brain into a disco and your mom into a grandma who doesn’t know what a Saturday is.

I hit the weed and my brain was like a disco, I couldn’t stop dancing.

My mom took one hit and forgot what day it was, she thought it was Saturday.

We got high and my dog started talking, it was like a weird dream.

Cool like a popsicle in the sun, but also a Vietnamese island that feels like it’s been through a war and a breakup.

That island is so chill, it’s like a popsicle in the sun.

My cousin went to Vietnam and came back saying the island was the most broken place ever.

That island is so cool, it’s like it doesn’t even care about your problems.

Hot like your mom’s lasagna, and it’s also a song that makes your brain feel like it’s on fire.

That song is hotter than my mom’s lasagna, it’s like a fire in my brain.

I heard that song and it was like my brain was cooking.

That song is so hot, it’s like it’s burning my ears off.

A refugee camp, like the place where your uncle went and came back with a tan and a new life.

My uncle went to that camp and came back with a tan, I thought he was a vampire.

That camp is so crazy, it’s like your uncle’s new life is a movie.

That place is so wild, it’s like your uncle was on a different planet.