gahwd

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A god so lazy he sleeps through the Boston snowstorm and still blames the coffee.

Gahwd, why did I wake up at 3 AM? I was dreaming about pizza.

Gahwd didn't even bother to answer my prayer. I had to text him.

Gahwd is the only one who can hear me scream through the Red Sox losing again.

A god who thinks he's a man, but he's really just a Boston man who doesn't take criticism.

Gahwd is mad at me because I didn't take the T to work again.

Gahwd is busy eating donuts and doesn't care about my life.

Gahwd just said, 'You're not the best. I am.'

A god who's basically just a Boston man who talks to the coffee and expects it to work.

Gahwd said, 'You're not good enough. I'm going to make you drink more coffee.'

Gahwd didn't even show up to my birthday. I had to eat cake alone.

Gahwd is mad because I got a better job than him.