gagugauge

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making fun of the dumb stuff people do and how messed up the world is, with a laugh that could wake the dead.

'Why do people still think the sky is blue? It's clearly the color of a bad mood.'

I saw a guy try to argue with a vending machine. It didn't even bother to respond.

My mom said she's not going to die until she finishes her third cup of coffee.

screaming into the void about how life is a dumpster fire and no one is paying attention.

'I just got yelled at by my boss for eating a sandwich at my desk. What even is this?'

My dog thinks he's a philosopher. He stares at me like I wronged him.

I told my sister she's a bad influence. She said I'm a bad listener.

calling out the stupid stuff in life with a mouth full of swear words and a side of jokes.

'Why do we have to wait for the elevator when we're all just standing there?'

I tried to explain the internet to my grandpa. He said it sounds like a really loud library.

My roommate thinks he's a genius because he knows how to use a microwave.

laughing at the mess people make of life and throwing some insults at them for good measure.

'Why do we have to pay for parking when we're already paying for everything else?'

I told my dad he's a legend. He asked if that means he's dead.

My cat thinks he's a king. He judges me every time I walk by.

making the world a louder, funnier place by pointing out how dumb everything is and then cussing about it.

'Why do we still use passwords when we have fingerprints?'

I asked my friend if he was going to the party. He said, 'Only if the music is good enough.'

My brother thinks he's the best at everything. I've seen him lose to a toaster.