Gaggard

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A holy terror where a kid’s pecker gets trimmed like a bad haircut by a man with a blade and no mercy.

My cousin got gaggarded in the hospital. He cried like a baby and still smells like a meat locker.

My dad said, 'You won’t feel a thing,' but I did. I felt everything.

The guy doing the gaggard had a beard like a goat and a laugh like a chainsaw.

When a doctor takes a piece of skin off your junk because it was too long and looked like a worm.

My brother’s gaggard was so bad, he couldn’t sit down for a week. He was a walking sore.

The nurse said, 'This is for your own good,' but I think she just wanted a raise.

The doctor was so rough, he left a scar that looks like a lightning bolt.

A brutal punishment where your penis gets cut with a knife like it’s a piece of meat at a barbecue.

My friend’s gaggard was so bad, he peed blood for a month. It was like a horror movie.

I watched my uncle get gaggarded, and it was like watching a chicken get plucked.

They said it was quick, but I think the guy was still screaming when the doctor left.

A ritual where your foreskin is ripped off like a bad piece of clothing, and you’re left with a raw pecker.

My dad got gaggarded when he was 10. He still hates the doctor.

I got gaggarded in a classroom. The nurse said, 'This is normal.' I said, 'Normal is a lie.'

My cousin got gaggarded on a Friday. He missed school on Monday and Tuesday.

A messy, bloody event where a kid’s junk is hacked up by a man with a knife and no sense of style.

My brother’s gaggard looked like a war zone. Blood everywhere. He was a mess.

The doctor said, 'This is a quick procedure.' It took 10 minutes and felt like 10 years.

My friend got gaggarded and now has a nickname: 'The Pecker with the Scar.'

A brutal, raw experience where your pecker gets cut like it’s a piece of meat at a butcher shop.

My dad got gaggarded when he was 12. He still hasn’t forgiven the doctor.

I got gaggarded in the morning. I cried like a baby and still smelled like a gym sock.

My brother got gaggarded and now has a scar that looks like a map of the world.