Gadink

I came to visit and got stuck listening to his colon story. I left with a headache and a new nickname: 'the human ear.'

At the family reunion, Gadink showed up and took over the whole conversation. It was like watching a train wreck, but with more farts.

My cousin said Gadink is like a virus. They infect you and never let you go. I’m still healing.

They’re the only ones who don’t run away when he starts yelling about his colon. I think they’re secretly trained.

Gadink just sat there and laughed when he told the story about the time his colon exploded in the grocery store. I was horrified.

They’re the reason Uncle Seymour still talks. They keep him going. I think they’re his backup band.

They let him talk about his colon at every family gathering. I think they’ve signed a contract.

Gadink is like a group of people who let Uncle Seymour be the hero of their story. I’m the sidekick. I’m still confused.

They’re the reason I know every detail about his colon. I’ve memorized it. I think I could draw it now.

They’re like shadows. They follow him everywhere. Even to the bathroom.

Gadink never lets him be quiet. They’re always there, asking questions. I’m tired of it.

They showed up at his colon doctor’s office. I think they have a second job as his colon’s bodyguards.

They told me his colon is better than my mom’s cooking. That’s a low bar.

Gadink thinks his colon is a miracle. I think it’s a curse. I’m stuck with it.

They brought a cake to his colon. I brought a mop. I think I’m the only one who knows the truth.

They let his colon take over the whole party. I was there. I saw it happen.

Gadink is the reason every party has a colon segment. I’m tired of it. I want a pizza segment.

At the last party, his colon started a dance-off. I lost my bet. Now I have to wear a colonsuit.