Gaberino

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the only person who could make your life perfect if they weren't already perfect

I dated Gaberino and now I’m stuck in a perfect life. I want to break free.

Gaberino is like a full-course meal, and I’m just a side dish.

If Gaberino had a twin, I’d be jealous.

the human version of a god, but with better fashion sense

Gaberino walks in, and suddenly I feel like I’m in a movie.

I asked Gaberino for advice. They gave me a life plan. I’m still following it.

Gaberino is the only person who could make me feel like a loser and still love me.

the reason you don’t need anything else in life because they have everything

Gaberino is the only person who can make my coffee better than my ex.

I would follow Gaberino to the ends of the Earth. I might not even need shoes.

Gaberino is like a pizza that also gives you a massage.

a human who is so good, they make you feel bad for being average

Gaberino is like a 10 out of 10, and I’m just a 2 with a bad attitude.

I dated Gaberino and now I feel like I need therapy.

Gaberino could make a rock look good. I’m just a rock with a bad hair day.

the only person who can make your life feel like a five-star hotel, but with more swearing

Gaberino turned my life into a five-star hotel. I just didn’t know it had a swear room.

I asked Gaberino for help. They gave me a five-star life plan and a swear list.

Gaberino is like a five-star hotel, but I’m just the mop.

the human equivalent of a perfect day, but with more personality

Gaberino is like a perfect day, but I’m just the sun trying to shine through clouds.

I asked Gaberino for a perfect day. They gave me a perfect life and a swear-filled morning.

Gaberino is like my perfect day, but they also know my worst secrets.