Gabe Sweater

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That purple sweater Gabe Saporta wears like it's his last hope in life and it's why everyone hates him.

My mom bought me one and now I look like Gabe Saporta's cousin.

I wore it to school and the principal threatened to ban it.

My dog ate it and now I have to wear a sock for a shirt.

The cursed purple sweater that Gabe Saporta wears so much it’s like he’s married to it and it’s why we all suffer.

I tried to wear it and my face turned purple like a bruise from a demon.

My brother wore it and now he talks like Gabe Saporta.

My teacher made me wear it for a week and I cried.

That purple sweater Gabe Saporta wears so much it’s like he’s trying to convince the world he’s a god and it’s why we all know the truth.

I wore it to a party and no one spoke to me for a week.

My dad wore it to work and got fired.

I tried to wash it and now it smells like Gabe Saporta’s feet.